Life in Nanchang

OK, second time's a charm... I think we got through this without losing info this time.
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Baby is waking up and I just spent two hour blogging then lost the rest of this post because the autosave wasn't working properly... grrr... I'll finish this up later!

This is the first thing we see when we get up in the morning. She wakes up so happy!! We live for this and wanted to share this with you. I just took this picture. I'll finish blogging later. Gotta get back to my precious daughter!!

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Hi! It's been awhile since I've been able to blog. Mommy-hood is becoming more and more demanding of my time. (Jo and Heather - your FB comments are my inspiration for getting this post done this morning!! LOL) While we have had some down time, it has also been more difficult to blog because I'm finally starting to sleep through the night. HOORAY!!

We have had a couple of "down days" just to spend time bonding with the babies and it has been wonderful. It is so cold and rainy here in Nanchang. This place is so full of contradictions. We are in a 5-star hotel but do not necessarily feel safe going outside because of the communication barrier.

The people are still very kind and helpful here at the hotel, but the local culture is not as "westernized" as it was in Beijing. That, combined with the climate, has all of us going just a bit stir-crazy. At first glance, this hotel is awe-inspiring... lots of surface glitz and glamour. But, upon closer inspection, it is so dirty. I swear, these carpets throughout the entire hotel have never been shampooed. Needless to say, we do not play on the floor!

Yesterday morning at breakfast there was a very nice looking young Chinese business man (suit, red power tie) sitting at a table at the edge of the dining room. He horked up something and spit it into his cloth napkin, then he farmer sneezed onto the carpeted floor of the restaurant of this "swanky" hotel! For those of you who do not know what a farmer sneeze is, hold one nostril shut with your finger and then blow HARD! Congratulations, you have just completed a farmer sneeze!!

This morning, our table was near the elevators and another business man horked up something and spit it into the ashtray next to the elevator. People spit everywhere here. You have to watch were you walk. I thought that was just outside but now I'm finding out that it's OK to spit inside too.

The Chinese side of the adoption is now done and we are just waiting on the babies' passports, and then we will fly to Guangzhou tomorrow. Once there, each baby will have a medical exam and then we will wait while the babies' visas are prepared.

To help alleviate some of the homesickness and to get everyone out of their rooms, eight of the families had dinner together last night. We are getting to know some of the other families quite well and we are making life-long friendships. This top photo is Mike, Mary, and their daughter Gracie. During dinner last night, Maddie and Gracie sat across from each other and would not take their eyes off each other. It was very obvious that the two know each other. Gracie, Maddie, Kya, and Lucy were all from the same orphanage. The orphanage director told us that Maddie, Kya, and Gracie all had cribs near each other. My guess is that Maddie and Gracie were side-by-side.

Lucy's dad is a pediatrician. He has been wonderfully gracious in checking out the babies for each of us when and answering any questions and calming the fears of all of us rookies. Maddie keeps rubbing her ears so we were afraid she had an ear infection. Dr. John made a "room call" and assured us that it is just one of the things that she does to comfort herself. Many of the babies do this. It's interesting to see that many of them have the same traits. Maddie and Kya also both scratch their foreheads when they are very tired. Last night was the first night that we kept Maddie up later than usual and she was just scratching away while enjoying her last bottle.

Speaking of bottles, let me just say, Maddie is a little piglet when it comes to eating. We had to cut slits in the tips of the nipples on her bottles so that the formula would come faster. She throws a fit when she cannot get her formula as fast as she is used to. It usually takes her about 5 minutes to finish off an entire bottle! Once we get home, we will wean her onto nipples with smaller holes so that her sucking muscles can develop more fully. Otherwise, she may have some problems with her speech. However, she has been through enough changes lately, that is one that can wait a few weeks!

This is the potty that the hotel delivered along with the baby bathtub. We tried to place Maddie on it to see what she would do and she just shrieked and cried. Many orphanages bind the babies to the potty chairs - once or twice a day - to potty train them from birth. Maddie obviously has had some traumatic potty experiences.

On Tuesday evening, the Eliases came over for Pizza Hut pizza. It was nice to have a taste of home! Maddie and Kya played. Or, a better description of that would be that Maddie performed and Kya watched! Kya is feeling much better and her personality is slowly emerging. She has the prettiest smile and very long lashes. She's beautiful as well.

Maddie adores her daddy and her daddy adores her. Twice now, Doug has watched Maddie alone for several hours while Mom and I went to Wal-Mart and to the museum. Both times we came back to clean, well-rested, and well-fed baby. He does diapers and everything - although the first diaper he put on Maddie by himself ended up being on backward and she wet through her entire outfit! In the photo above, Doug was changing his first poopy diaper. He needed a little coaching but he managed to finish it up!

Mom and I took a cab to Wal-Mart. Note the uncleanliness of the sides of this cab. That is how a lot of things are here... we're just chalking it up to soaking up more of the culture. Mom says she has had just about enough of Chinese culture. LOL

Wal-Mart is on the second and third floors of a building. Here we are taking our shopping carts from the third floor down to the second floor. We took the trip to Wal-Mart to get Diet Coke (for Doug) and suppositories for Maddie as she was very constipated on Tuesday. Now picture this... you're in a country where you don't speak the language and have no idea how to read any labels. So, you go into a Wal-Mart pharmacy for suppositories. How would you communicate what you need? I'll leave our choice of words and hand gestures up to your imagination. After 10 minutes we gave up and left without suppositories. After that, there was no way in the world I was going to ask for help finding tampons!!! As for Maddie - she's OK now... we got some apple juice from the hotel restaurant and things are moving a little too well now!

Coming back from Wal-Mart was quite a trip! At the hotel before we left, they gave us a note in Chinese to hand to a cab driver to bring us back. Their instructions were, "Just go outside Wal-Mart and you can catch a cab right there!" What we didn't know is that you cannot catch a cab during rush hour. Also, we were turned down by 3 different drivers because they did not want to go in the direction of our hotel! Finally, after 45 minutes in the cold rain, and on the verge of freaking out (because it was the first time I had left Doug alone with the baby), we found a very nice young man who spoke English. He took us through an underground walkway to the other side of the street and hailed a cab for us. We got back to find a happy, dry baby, relaxed dad, and pizza waiting for us... no freaking out needed.

Yesterday afternoon we went down to the dessert bar just off our hotel lobby. Kris discovered that Kya LOVES ice cream. She better enjoy this... we later discovered that this little cup of ice cream cost $10!! I guess that's the last time we'll be having ice cream at this hotel.

During our little ice cream adventure, we also discovered that Maddie is ticklish. She has the cutest laugh.

Yesterday we visited a museum that specializes in local culture and tradition. The photos below are from that excursion. Because of the cold and rain, Doug opted to stay behind and watch the baby. It was very interesting to learn more about the customs and living conditions of the people in surrounding villages. With Maddie's orphanage being located in such a rural area, my guess is that her birth parents are from living conditions similar to those pictured below.

This is a wedding rickshaw. The wedding party carries the newlyweds in this.

This is the wedding bed. The bride and her mother spend all day crying on her wedding day. Weddings are generally steeped in lots of celebration that surrounds the groom.

This is a triditional kitchen of a Chinese family. The big white thing is their stove/oven. I will never again complain about my kitchen!!

This is a typical crib used for the babies.

These items are commonly used for babies. On the left is a baby "stander". A baby is placed in there to hang onto the sides and learn to stand. On the right is a high chair. Front and center is a baby walker.

This is a very common sight. Bicycles, both motorized and non-motorized, of all shapes and sizes are seen everywhere.

This is the 2009 model of a flat-bed pickup truck.

The little yellow sign says "no parking". You can see how well people obey traffic signs here. Stop signs get the same regard as this little yellow sign.

Anna and Kaycee, big sisters to Lucy and Kya, during our museum tour. I think they were tired of the cold, wet, dark tour. We have learned first-hand why babies are bundled up here. Nothing is heated, not the orphanages, not our tourbus, not the museum, not the stores (and most have no front door either), not the hallways in our hotel, etc, etc. However, the locals all congregate on the street corners and in front of shops and help each other out. It is very evident that people here bend over backward to help out each other and we could learn a lot from them!

Sweet Kya during the museum tour.

After the museum tour, we went porcelaine shopping. Jiangxi Province (where we are) is known for its procelaine craftsmanship. The shops had amazing stuff and it was hard to pick out what we wanted. Later today, I'm going back to buy a tea set for Maddie.

Jane - you would LOVE these shops. The tea sets here are simply amazing! I'm going to refrain from gloating here because we still have to get our tea set home in one piece. LOL

In closing, here are a few things that we have learned in the past few days:

• Yesterday morning in the shower it hit me just how much my mom loves me. I now know because of the love I feel for my own daughter. I just stood there and cried.
  
• Doug has learned that this is a lot more exhausting than he ever imagined. But (in his words), it is a fun exhausting and he wouldn't have it any other way.
  
• I now understand what Pastor Brenda means when she says she is thankful for hot water and for running water.
  
• I never realized until now how much I rely on those trusty handrails that have been mandated by the ADA in all public buildings in the US. Thank you President Bush (the first one).

Thanks for your continued prayers, emails, and FB messages. They brighten each day! Much love, Beth, Doug, Maddie, and Grandma Joanna

Free Day

Today is our first completely free day since we set foot in China and it feels wonderful to have some down time! Doug and Maddie are both napping so I'm once again taking the opportunity to blog in the middle of the day. Last night, for the first time since we left home, I actually got my much-needed 8 hours of sleep and it felt WONDERFUL!

It is very cold and rainy here - about 40 degrees farenheit. So, needless to say, it feels good to just stay inside today. We had the option of taking another tour today, but Doug and I opted out when our guide said, "You will want to leave the strollers behind today because you will be going up 89 steps to get to where we're going." No thank you! Mom, the international adventurer, did go however. I'm glad that she went. That way we will at least be able to see pictures.

Later this afternoon, Mom and I will head over to Wal-Mart again. Yesterday, when we were there with our group, we only had 30 minutes to grab the essentials. We want to go again when we have time to look around. The Wal-Mart is 3 stories high. The shopping carts are hard to push in a straight line becuse all four of the wheels swivel. When going from the second to the third floor, you push your cart onto an escalater ramp and the wheels lock into the grooves that hold it in place while it moves to the next floor.

We are working with Maddie to teach her how to use her hands and arms more effectively. We put a Cheerio into her hand and hold it in place for her because she does not have the dexterity to do so. Then we practice the hand to mouth motion. She's starting to catch on.

Maddie was a little tentative with Grandma Jo at first, but she's warming up to her and recognizes her now. She can't wait to meet her other grandma too!

Dinner buffet last night included octopus and eel. I had to try it!

Baked beans for breakfast - made Doug's day! Unfortunately, the after effects are not that pleasant for the rest of us!!!

Maddie LOVES her Baba! Doug is such a good daddy. He just cannot get enough of his daughter and plays with or holds her constantly. It is so cool to watch these two together!

Milestone alert: Maddie just rolled over on the bed!

Grandma is showing her war wounds from her tumble in the Fobidden City in Beijing. She has a matching bruise on her leg! We are so thankful that she didn't break a hip or something!

Here are some things that we have learned in the last 24 hours:

• Maddie loves to play peek-a-boo and patty cakes.
• Doug changed his first diaper ever! It was wet, but it's a start!!
• Maddie loves to look at books and have them read to her. I wish we would have brought more books for her.
• Maddie loves to play LOUD - she'll fit right into the Graber side of the family!
• Maddie is starting to use her legs a whole lot more. She wants to stand up when we hold her and it is hard to keep her seated in your lap.
• Maddie has a temper! When she doesn't get what she wants, the shrieking returns!!
• When she has everything she needs, she is one happy baby. She laughs and smiles A LOT.
• Now that she can bend her arms, Maddie is discovering her hands and she is just fascinated by her moving fingers.
• Maddie is using her arms and hands to pick up toys now.
• I never thought I'd get so excited to see poop!
• Maddie is a wiggle worm. She does not like to hold still.
• When she finishes a bottle and we remove it from her mouth, she screams and cries for more. That usually only lasts less than a minute, and then she's content and happy again.
• Being parents rocks! Everything in our world has changed. Doug and I both feel the weight of the responsibility and welcome it wholeheartedly. She is just the center of our universe!!

We have learned so much more, but Maddie is starting to fuss so I better wrap this up. Here is a video from breakfast this morning:

Adoption Day!

Daddy and baby are both taking a nap so I'm grabbing this opportunity to do a rare mid-day blog entry. Maybe I'll be able to get to bed a little earlier that way.

Wow - what a difference a day makes! Maddie woke up at 3 AM and wanted to play. So, we played!! Then she had a bottle and went back to sleep around 4. Around 6:30 she woke up just happy as a lark and has been so ever since.

This morning was a very busy morning. We had to meet at 8:30 and then go to three different offices in the city to finalize the Chinese side of the adoption. Maddie was so good all day - didn't fuss at all. She is such a happy baby and quite the little wiggle worm. She is very curious and has to always be able to see what is going on.

Everywhere we go Madeline turns on her charm and people stop to talk to her, touch her cheeks, or just smile at her. We went to Wal-Mart at the end of our morning and for a little while, Doug couldn't move two feet with the stroller without someone stopping him, bending down and talking to her.

Greg & Jen - do you guys recognize these toys? This is the second trip to China and the Jiangxi Province. They were here 5 years ago when you came here for Maya. Maddie loves these toys. So far, one of her favorite pastimes is to sit propped up by pillows with her legs all covered up in toys. She then kicks until every single toy is out of reach. Then we pile them all in her lap again and she does it all over again.

During this game, we noticed that Maddie's right arm appears to be somewhat weaker than her left side. She also has very poor manual dexterity - she cannot hold a cheerio in her hand. One of the things that we got to do today was to ask questions of the orphanage director. She confirmed what we suspected - that Maddie has not been in foster care this entire time as was originally reported to us. She, along with the other girls from her city were all in foster care for the first three months, then was put back in the orphanage. We suspect that the weakness on her right side comes from laying on that side while at the orphanage. We are already working with her trying to get her to use that hand and arm more - to develop muscle tone. We are also working on the dexterity by holding Cheerios in her fingers and helping her move her hands to her mouth - something that was impossible before with the many layers of clothes she wore.

We learned the reason for the many layers of clothes today. There is no heat in the orphanages. So, they bundle the babies to make sure they are warm enough. Every one of the offices we were at today were also very cold - around 65 degrees farenheit or cooler.

The orphanage director told us that Maddie, Kya, and Gracie all had cribs very close to each other. Gracie will be living in Buffalo, NY. I guess her parents will have to make some trips to IN and we'll have to visit them in NY from time to time. There is a fourth member of this exclusive club - little Lucy is from Bloomington. She was also in the same orphanage.

We asked the orphanage director about Maddie's disposition at the orphanage. Her response was, "She was the naughty one!" She then went on to explain that she was very curious and that she knows how to demand attention. Sounds like we've got a winner!!! We are thrilled with her personality - she will fit right in! Mom, who is sitting here with me as I blog says, "Right now you're thrilled. Just wait!" LOL

Introducing Madeline Li Snow! Today it became official. After promising officials in three different civil offices that we would love Madeline, give her a good education, and to never harm nor abandon her, the Chinese side of the adoption is now complete.

We are so in love with our daughter. With every passing minute, she feels more and more comfortable with us. Words just cannot describe how delighted we are with our daughter. She truly is a gift from God and we know without any doubt that we were always meant to be her parents.

Maddie just loves her daddy. She babbles endlessly with him when he holds her.

This was taken at the Civil Affairs Office in front of the US flag and the China flag. Both of these flags will forever have great meaning in our family. We are finding China to be a wonderful country - a place where people are so kind, they bend over backwards to help you, and are very respectful of guests in their country. We want to be sure that Maddie grows up understanding and respecting her heritage.

"When I'm with Daddy, I ham it up for the camera every single time!"

Maddie's original referral paperwork stated that she can be "obstinate sometimes." Hmmm... apple, meet tree!

Sweet Kya, Kris & Shawn's baby, is so opposite of Maddie. She has the quietest little cry and softest voice. She is feeling a little better today but is still sick. She is still very lethargic. It will be interesting to see her personality emerge as she starts to feel better. It sounds like Kya's illness is just a common cold and congestion. Fortunately for us, one of the other dads is a pediatrician. He has been so wonderful about giving us advice or checking out the babies that are sick. (Thanks Lesa, Anna, and Lucy for sharing John's time with us!!)

When we first unwrapped Maddie from the many layers of clothing, she had what looked like a huge greenish colored bruise on her left hip. It also looked like she had light bruising all over back. Doug and I freaked out! John confirmed for us that it is just a Mongolian Spot - oddly colored skin pigmentation - and nothing to worry about.

Thanks to all of you for the many emails, comments here and on FaceBook, and for the continued prayers. You have no idea how much your comments brighten each day! It makes it easier being so far away from home. We look forward to sharing our sweet daughter with each of you when we get back.

Until later... Much Love, Doug, Beth, Madeline, and Grandma Joanna

Gotcha Day!

First things first, I have to give a shout out to my baby brother... Happy Birthday Uncle Steve!

Now for the goods...

We left Beijing early this morning and flew on a very bumpy ride to Nanchang, Jiangxi Province. We got to our hotel about 2 PM and were told that we had 2 hours to unpack and then we needed to be in a conference room at 4 where we would meet the babies. I kicked in the turbo and started unpacking. I was in the middle of unpacking when Doug, who was standing by the window said, "Come here. You're gonna want to see this." Eight stories below us we got our first glimpse of Maddie. He just happended to be looking out the window to take a picture of the view from our room and saw a van full of babies pull in. Sure enough, Maddie was among them. She is the one in blue below - the one furthest to the right. Even from the 8th floor I thought that outfit looked amazingly familiar and I was right - it is the frog snowsuit she was wearing in her most recent photos we had received.

Less than 15 minutes later, at 3:15, Kathryn, our guide called and said, "Come to the conference room now. Your baby is here. Thankfully I had packed the diaper bag so off we went. When we walked into the room, there were 6-8 babies (can't remember exactly). Some of the nannies were standing and others sitting, holding beautiful babies. We walked by Kya and recognized her immediately. However, Maddie looks a LOT like two other babies that are here so we had to check the names on three babies before we found her. She is positively gorgeous.

When the nanny first handed her over to me, she was just very curious - checking us out very closely. It all happened so fast and it was completely unceremonious - a far cry from every scenario I have played out in my head for the past four years. However, I wouldn't trade it for the world. The moment she was placed in my arms, my world felt complete.

She inspected both Doug and me, then reached for Doug so he took her.

She was content with Doug for a minute or two, and he was just beaming with pride. All was going very well then things took a turn, and it was NOT a quiet turn!

The second Madeline started whimpering, Doug handed her back to me with a deer in headlights look. And then the shrieking started. This child has a set of lungs on her that won't quit. (Mom says she sounds like a Graber baby.)

Madeline's diaper was wet so we changed that, thinking that might quiet her down, but nothing seemed to console her. She was just so terrified - her little heart was just pounding and the shrieking and crying did not cease. So we went back to our room to try to console her.

The first thing we did was to peel off the layers to see the baby underneath. She was wearing 4 layers - two of them were thick snowsuit typeoutfits. The top layer was the snow suit she wore in her most recently updated photo. Notice the band of elastic on top of the pile. This is a binding cord - used to hold up her diaper! I have no idea why. And yes, this whole stack of clothes was on one teeny 8 month old child.

Shawn, Kris, Kya, and Kaycee - Kya is also very beautiful. Poor baby, she is very congested and sick. Please pray for good health for both Kya and Maddie.

After we returned to the room, Madeline kept crying, shrieking, and was just so very distraught and terrified. We did everything we could think of to make her happy but absolutely nothing worked.

At one point, there were 4 of us in the room in tears and feeling helpless beyond all imagination. Thank God my Mom came on the trip with us. Today, she was such a HUGE help -running bath water, fixing bottles, running for this, and reaching for that while Doug finished up our day's paperwork and I continued to try to console our terrified daughter.

Finally, after about 2 1/2 hours of pure shrieking, she wore herself out and fell asleep on my chest. She slept for about 25 minutes and when she awoke, while she was still scared, it was more of a whimper and that eventually led to being OK for short periods of time. Those OK moments started to happen more often and last longer.

She loves playing "get your piggies" with Daddy. You probably can't tell from this picture, but Doug is one proud Daddy. I fell in love with him all over again - more than ever, just watching him play with our daughter and coax the first smile and giggle out of her.

The more she warmed up, the more she jabbered "baba, baba" which means daddy in Chinese. For the life of me, I cannot get the little bugger to say mama! But, that's OK... all in good time.

Maddie's dexterity is not nearly as developed as most 8-month olds. The many months of being incapacitated in her Michelan Man costume have hampered her coordination. She does this really crazy thing with her fingers - crosses them.

After taking a bottle, she settled down for a short nap. This feeling - the feeling that washed over me while holding our daughter while she was falling asleep - the love, the undescribable feeling of completeness and harmony - I want to hold onto it forever. Simply amazing. Thank you God for answering our every prayer and for keeping her safe and sound until we could get here.

As I write this, our little angel is fast asleep. She is so very precious. We know that the next few days, and maybe even weeks, are going to be extremely difficult as we all deal with grieving Madelines many losses in her young life. Before Doug went to bed, we were talking about her first smile - the first glimpse of what is to come - that one smile made the rest of the day pale in comparison and made all the tough times so beyond "worth it".

Please continue to pray for us as we deal with this transition. Much love, Doug &Beth, and Baby Maddie